“We are witnessing a change of the world order, and I think Kenya is going to be one of the swing states in deciding which direction the world is going to tilt, so I’m here… Read More »The Useful Idiots: How Kenya was Sold to the New World Order as a Guinea Pig for Africa
“Football, beer, and above all, gambling filled up the horizon of their minds. To keep them in control was not difficult.”- – George Orwell, Author. Two weeks ago Nairobi discovered a new national holiday. Not… Read More »How Arsenal’s Premier League Triumph Turned Nairobi into North London
Living in a kakistocracy is like surviving one hundred near-death experiences in a single lifetime. Every week there is a new apocalypse on sale. Secret vaccines for schoolchildren. Forced GMOs. Abducted youth. Mysterious massacred bodies.… Read More »Before Ebola, There Was Corona: The Politics of Manufactured Panic
“The Kenya government has declared that it was their desire for her majesty the queen to become queen of Kenya, and Mr Ngala on behalf of the opposition, expressed his support for this. My Rt… Read More »Inside the Forward Africa Summit: Banquets, Defence Deals and Kenya’s Uneasy Questions About Sovereignty
“Hell is empty and all the demons are here”—William Shakespeare. It is a well-known truth that a politician’s main duty is to steal public funds on behalf of his masters; the rent-seeking African elites, and the… Read More »Inside the Republic of Goonistan
Life in a kakistocracy is not for the faint-hearted. It is a full-contact sport. A live theater production, which is a travelling circus with no refunds and compulsory attendance. One moment, billions evaporate from the… Read More »The Republic of Premium Tears: A Field Guide to Fuel, Fraud, and Faith
Suffering from obesity? Tired of jogging in circles around your estate while boda bodas chase you like you owe them money? Have you tried managu smoothies, intermittent fasting, or whispering affirmations to your stomach at… Read More »How to Lose Weight in Kenya without going to the Gym: A Microfinance Guide
I sat next to a man in a pub who cut the image of a lonely figure at a crowded table, surrounded by noisy football fans. Outside, the busy streets that usually teem with revelers… Read More »The Road to Singapore: How Betting Became Kenya’s Biggest Employer
“What is prudence in the conduct of every private family, can scarce be folly in that of a great kingdom.” — Adam Smith, The Wealth of Nations In Kenya, to look important, you need a… Read More »How to Build a Republic Without Stealing: The Akuku Danger Way
Walk through Nairobi on a Friday evening and you will witness a strange national ritual. Young women glide through the city streets in jeans so tight they look vacuum-sealed. Their bums bop to a rhythm… Read More »Get Rich, Get Laid, Get Lost: Nairobi’s Love Story